Scripture-Prayers for Everyday

Hello Family,

Today marks another milestone - 7 months of Chase safe in the arms of God in Heaven.  I'd like to ask you to join me in praying the following scripture-prayers over me and my family - both immediate and extended - as often as you're willing to labor with us through prayer.  (Many of the prayers have been adapted from Beth Moore's book Praying God's Word.)

The Lord has been gracious to allow us to feel the prayers of the saints, and to experience first hand that "the law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul." (Psalm 19:7)

Thank you again for your love and support.

• Lord, in my heart I plan my way, but You establish my steps. (Proverbs 16:9)  Life isn't going as I planned, but I'm so grateful You're not caught off guard.  You knew everything that would befall me.  Please direct my steps as You determine.  I need You Lord, carry me when I cannot walk.

• I cry to You Lord in my trouble, and You deliver me from my distress. (Psalm 107:13)

• Mighty God, be my rock of refuge, to which I can continually come; give the command to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress. (Psalm 71:3)

• Help me trust in You at all times; help me to pour out my heart to You, God, for you are my refuge (Psalm 62:8). O Lord, help me not be afraid to speak to You what's on my heart. Your word says You know my thoughts and my actions, and even before a word is on my tongue, You know it altogether (Psalm 139:1-4).  You will never be offended when I pour out my earnest despair and bitterness that wells in my heart.  You desire for me to cry out in my agony, and You can take my feelings of anger, dismay, and confusion.  In pouring out my heart to You, I rid myself of soul-cancerous bitterness.  I also make room for You to pour in Your healing.

• You, O God, will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).  You are the only absolute guarantee I have in all of life.  Help me cling to the one thing I can never lose.

We love you, are grateful for you, and remember you often in our prayers.

The Little While

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

1 Peter  5:10

...but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

After a hard day, one night last week I went to bed begging that the Lord would give me the strength and endurance needed to endure the "little while."  I don't know what my "little while" is.  Sometimes I think about it in terms of this very intense season of grief and suffering.  Sometimes I think about it in terms of the time I have left here on this Earth.  Either way, in the grand scale of eternity, it truly is a little while.

And that is comforting.

Not only is the idea of it being a "little while" comforting, I am moved to thanksgiving when I think about the promises the Lord gives in the 1 Peter verse above.  

The God of all grace will restore me.

The God of all grace will confirm me.

The God of all grace will strengthen me.

The God of all grace will establish me.

And my heart continues to be thankful as I read in the Romans 5 verse that the very endurance I need to endure the suffering, the suffering is producing!  And the suffering is like a seed planted that sprouts lots of beautiful things, the last of which is listed being hope.  PRAISE GOD!

He has not left me, and He never will.  The God of all-sufficient grace is providing hope, and endurance, and strength, and restoration.

I've told a lot of people that I'm in a season where I have never been more grateful for the Lord's promises.  This unwanted grief has produced a huge gratitude that the Lord really does provide for us what we need - I just need to believe Him, take Him at His word.

I've never been more thankful for the Lord's promises of peace and comfort and joy and abundant life, for those who trust in Him, than I am right now.  Because I see now that, in the depths of despair, this is what my heart longs for.  It doesn't long for money, or a particular dress size, or a problem-free life.  To steal a phrase from my pastor Matt, those are not "warm blankets to the soul."  But God's promises absolutely are.

Second Peter 1:3 says "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence."  Dear friends, I pray you get to know this amazing God who is good and faithful - He always keeps His word.

Therefore, I have an unshakeable confidence that I will make it through my "little while."

Nature's Remedy

Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

1 Peter 4:19

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. 

Psalm 19:1

For those of you who are local, though the title of this blog appears to be a shameless plug for a business that I love, owned by a woman that I greatly respect and admire, I can assure you it is not.  This post really is about how restoring and healing I have found nature to be in this season.

The scriptures listed above are two that caught my eye back in April and have had a lasting impression on me ever since.  In reading 1 Peter 4:18, I was kind of shocked that Peter referenced the fact that God is Creator in the verse.  I'm not sure what I expected to see there instead, but I found myself unable to move quickly past that word.  So I started to think about what it meant to entrust my soul to a faithful Creator, and pretty soon just found myself thinking about the beauty and wonder of creation.  

I found myself reading the creation account in Genesis 1 and 2, and asking myself a question from a Bible study I did years ago - "What kind of God creates like this?" And I was reminded beautiful characteristics of our Creator, here are just a few: intentional, creative, One who brings order to chaos, intimately involved in the details, the Creator and modeler of rest, all-powerful, all-sustaining, good.

After that I started to admire nature more - it was just raw creation.  Man's hand was absent from making it beautiful. Instead it was God's voice alone that had spoken it into being, and His oversight that had sustained it.  And it helped me to better understand how big my God is.

So, I stared at the Grand Canyon with awe.  I remember feeling a peace because the Creator of this masterpiece was watching over me - and He was watching over Chase.

I went on a prayer walk up and down the beach in Florida and just couldn't take my eyes off the water. I couldn't see where it stopped.  It was breathtaking.  The Creator of this was asking me to entrust myself to Him.

I went on a mini-hike near Branson, MO one morning in October and was just speechless as I witnessed the changing colors of the lake and the sky and the trees as the sun rose higher and higher in the sky.  I thanked God that I had the chance to behold such beauty, even on this fallen Earth.  And then I found myself excited, looking forward to the reunion I would have with Chase in the New Heavens and the New Earth. Looking forward to beholding beauty there that far outweighs anything I will ever see here.  I speak of the beauty of The Lord of course, but also of the indescribable beauty of the New Earth - the renewed creation.

The weather has transitioned from the hot Texas summer to an overwhelmingly refreshing fall.  I forgot how beautiful this season is - it's slowly becoming my favorite. And because of that I find myself sitting outside a lot more.  I go for walks as often as I can.  I want to feel the chill in the air.  I want to breathe in crisp air.  I want to behold the changing color of the leaves.  Because when I do, I always feel just a little bit better.  There's something life-giving about the creation.

Maybe because the Creator is the ultimate Life-giver.

Walk to Remember

This past Saturday family and friends joined me for an event called Walk to Remember hosted by a non-profit organization called M.E.N.D - Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death.  The event isn't so much a walk, as it is a program that allows families to come together and celebrate their child, or children, that went to be safe with the Lord in Heaven much sooner than any of us would want - through miscarriage, stillbirth, or a short life outside the womb.

Chase was the oldest child remembered at the Walk.  I think the next oldest, was 8 months, and even that is on the older end of the spectrum for the children usually remembered at this event.  The majority of the families were remembering children that did not survive even a week outside the womb.

It was an emotional day.

After we checked in, we headed to a room where tables had been set up for families to display items of the child they were remembering.  Barely able to see through my tears, I set up a few pictures of Chase,  the program from his Celebration Service, a onesie, a jacket, a book, and his Sophie the Giraffe rubber teething toy.  My mom and sister later added another book, picture, and a blue hooded towel.

It was so sad to set this up.  One part of me didn't want to be there.  I didn't want to be remembering my child, setting out objects that I wouldn't ever see him use again.  But the other part of me was so excited to be there.  Proud to be celebrating my son.  Excited for the chance to talk about him and answer questions about him.

I walked around to see all the memory tables.  I flipped through a picture book that a grieving mom put together on the one year anniversary of her daughter's birth - and death.  I looked at countless memory boxes filled with onesies, blankets, and hospital bracelets of babies that never left the hospital alive.  I saw quilts that had been sewn for miscarried babies.  I saw countless pictures of urns, small caskets and gravesite markers.

The sites were sobering.

The program continued in a large field outside the church.  Two women at the podium read from a list of names.  They took turns saying "We remember" followed by a child's name and their corresponding life dates.

There were a lot of names.

There were a lot of singular dates.  Which meant miscarriage, stillbirth, or that the baby took his last breath the same day he took his first.

Hearing this list is what made me realize that Chase was the oldest baby remembered on Saturday.  And in the midst of the sadness and tears, I was able to be thankful.

Thankful that I had a healthy labor and birth.
Thankful that I had heard his cry.
Thankful that I had felt his slobber run down my cheek.
Thankful that I had seen him crawl.
Thankful that I got to celebrate his first birthday with him.
Thankful that I have 375 days of memories.

I left the event thankful for Chase's life.  And I prayed that God would be gracious to all the other families, and show them how they too could be thankful in the midst of their grief.  

This week in my Bible study homework I read 1 Thessalonians 5:18.  It says "give thanks in all circumstances." (emphasis mine)  On Saturday, the Lord helped show me how that really is possible to do, even in the worst of times.