That's not true.
On March 23 this year we celebrated the anniversary of Chase's Glory Day. And as much as I want to say it was a celebration of Chase being free from this sinful world for a year, it wasn't. I want him here. Maybe that's selfish, but it's true. What it was was a celebration of the Lord sustaining us through 365 days of grief, agony, horror, confusion. It was a celebration where we got to thank the people who stood by us in all the good, bad, and ugly of the past year.
It was a beautiful day.
But when we woke up on March 24, the question of "Now What?" lingered over us. What do we do now? Where do we go from here?
I don't have the full answer, but what I've resolved is to just go with the Lord one day at a time. He got us through year 1 of grief, and He'll sustain us through year 2, and 3, and so on...
We are not fully healed, and we won't be on this side of life. The Lord is continuing to heal us, but there is a continual pain we experience because of Chase's absence.
We are forever changed. We will never be the same people we were on March 22, 2013. Those people are gone. And that's OK. This experience has forever marked our souls, so there's no going back to what we were. The only option is to continue to learn the "new normal." To learn how to walk with a limp.
We will forever view life through a different grid. Whether discussing how to sleep train your baby or how to live with an eternal perspective, we will view life with a changed grid. Our perspective is changed. And that's OK.
But in all the changes, we will continue to grieve as those who have hope. Why? Because we truly do have hope.
Thank you again for your continued prayers. To borrow a phrase from Ted's new album promo:
I am human. I am hurt. I am His.
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.
1 Thessalonians 4:13
