I started drafting this blog back in July. It was originally going to be a post about how I just wanted to push the fast forward button. I didn't want to experience the pain. I didn't want to feel how much it hurt. I just wanted time to instantaneously move me to a date far far in the future.
Obviously time doesn't work like that. And I'm grateful it doesn't. I didn't get to skip over the past 8 months. And I'm not upset about that. I have experienced the Lord like never before in the past year. I'm not thankful to be separated from my Sweetums; I am grateful for how the Lord showed up, how He proved Himself to be just who He says He is.
In those first months of grief, the days seemed to move by so slowly. But somewhere along our journey, it seems that time has picked up its pace. After December 15 I looked at Callen in awe. How are you already here? How did my pregnancy go by so fast?
Now the question is, how are we already well into the month of March? It came around much faster than I ever thought it would. And I can honestly say that I am not scared of it anymore.
March is such a full month for our family. We celebrated Ted's birthday this past Saturday, and we'll celebrate Chase's birthday tomorrow. Then we'll celebrate Chase's Glory Day (this is how I currently refer to it) on the 23rd, and then 5 days later we'll remember the day of his burial and life celebration at the church. To my surprise, I am actually looking forward to celebrating my Sweetums with family and friends.
I want to thank you all for praying for us as these significant milestones approach. The Lord has calmed our hearts in so many ways. We can, again, tangibly feel the prayers of the saints. Please keep us in your prayers as the month continues.
