8 Months, 9 Months

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

Psalm 126:5-6

This weekend is one of those unique times when we hit 2 key milestones back to back. Yesterday marked eight months of my Sweetums enjoying the beauty of The Lord and Heaven, eight months of him escaping the pains of this world. And since pregnancy months are different than calendar months, today I've hit the nine month mark of my pregnancy. 

So these times are bitter. And they are sweet. 

Scriptures like the one above seem to have their volume turned up during these double milestone times. I'm so freshly aware of my sowing in tears and of my reaping shouts of joy. There are so many different implications of both parts of the verse for me. 

I have cried more than I ever have in life over the loss of my son.  I have shouted with joy that it's not really a loss but, as Randy Alcorn puts it, an interruption. Because I will see my son again.  

I've shouted with joy over the gift of new life The Lord has placed in my womb.  I've cried because this baby, Baby Sonny, won't have big brother Chase here to play with or to protect him or her. 

I've cried in deep, yet godly, sorrow after being made aware of sin - it's always sobering to be reminded how much in need of grace and forgiveness I am. And I've shouted with joy because the Creator of Heaven and Earth loves me with an unconditional, unfailing love, and He'll never run out of the grace and mercy I so desperately need. 

And it's not just the clashing of milestones that brings about this awareness. It really is an ongoing thing. My numbers-oriented mind has a tendency to pause more when the milestones are close, but there are reminders everywhere of this bittersweet truth. And I pray The Lord will give me clear sight, daily, to see them. 

Bittersweet. I'm really starting to like that word. It starts off bitter. But it ends sweet. There's so much truth there. Thank you gracious Father!