Standing on the Solid Rock

It has been 15 weeks since tragedy struck our family - the tragedy of my baby Chase's life ending - unexpectedly, out of the blue.  It came as a shock to everyone.  He is the "miracle baby" that our family was gifted with after 2 miscarriages.   I call him my Sweetums. 

I said in a previous thank you letter to family and friends that everything changed for our family on March 23, 2013.  Everything changed for us, but the Lord did not change.

His goodness towards us did not change.  His faithfulness did not change.  His love did not change.  His intimate understanding of our circumstances did not change.  And none of these ever will.

This is the truth that has been anchoring me in the past 15 weeks.  We travelled a lot as a family early on in this season of grief.  We were counseled that a change of scenery may help in the restoration, that as painful as it would be, it was important to begin making new memories.  So in April we went to the Grand Canyon and to Northern Florida. Both trips were bittersweet - painful yet refreshing, agonizing but relaxing.  

I stared in awe at the Grand Canyon and thought to myself - Chase is with the Creator of this, He's OK.  I took walks on the beach in Florida and just prayed that the Lord would help me to trust Him in this season, and that I would willingly go wherever He's taking us.

Ted and I spent a weekend away in Dallas and laughed hysterically for almost 2 hours at Sinbad's show.  So therapeutic.  I traveled to Flint, MI and Chicago and spent time with a close friend on a "Mommy Vaca."  So revitalizing.

Then travel slowed down for a bit and we finally got to just be home for a while - back to some kind of normal routine.  Then it was time to move to a new house in Denton.  Jaden did swim lessons and a sports class.  We celebrated Father's Day, we went to KAA for a week, we celebrated my birthday - and now we're trying to settle into the new house.

In the midst of all the moving around, and all the change that we continue to see, the truth of the Lord's constancy has continued to occupy my thoughts.  And it is more than comforting.  He does not change.  He does not fail.

Today I am so much more sober-minded than I was on March 22, 2013.  I have understanding and insight that I am grateful for, but really wish I could have learned through some other means.  

Isaiah 26:4 says - "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock."

I believe this with all of my heart, mind, soul, and strength.  

In some form or fashion, I'm convinced that we'll all experience suffering, pain.  I'm convinced that, in life, the bottom will fall out.  I'm so thankful that when the bottom does fall out, the everlasting Rock never will.