The Shadow and the Form

"We tend to start with Earth and reason up towards Heaven, when instead we should start with Heaven and reason down towards Earth.  It isn't merely an accommodation to our earthly familial structure, for instance, that God calls Himself a father and us children.  On the contrary, he created father-child relationships to display his relationships with us, just as he created human marriage to reveal the love relationship between Christ and his bride."

-- Randy Alcorn, Heaven

I have been so encouraged recently in dwelling on this idea.  The idea that Earth is not the starting point of all things, but rather an extension of something greater.  It makes most sense in my head to think about Earth as the shadow of a beautiful form, the form being Heaven, and all that exists there.

Honestly, I have never given much thought to Heaven until this season of grief began.  Until I had a deep, intimate, and personal relationship with a person, who, without warning, suddenly ended up there.  And not just any human, a boy, that I birthed - my son.  

Sometimes it doesn't even seem real that Chase is not here with us - it's still so shocking.  I miss fixing him food, washing his diapers, and practicing sign language with him.  I miss getting the boys dressed for church while Ted is out of town, and then hearing the precious harmonies of two crying children as I try to get my teeth brushed and put on clothes not stained with drool and food.  

I miss the sweet chaos of caring for my two boys.   

But in missing Chase I do not grieve like those who have no hope.  As a follower of Christ, I grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13).  And recently it's been the hope of Heaven that allows my tears to eventually stop.  

The hope of Heaven reminds me that Chase is safe.  He is in a place free of sin and suffering.  He is happy.  He has a never-ending, unable-to-be-stolen joy.  And that brings me great comfort.  As I experience joy and happiness here, I can't help but to think that Chase is experiencing it in a more full, more intensified manner.   The same way our experience is magnified when we interact with the true form of something, rather than its shadow. 

We attended our first wedding since Chase passed last weekend.  And it was fun.  It was a sweet event where we celebrated the union of our friends.  But as I felt the emotions of the day, and thought how happy the couple must be, I was comforted by the fact that we were just enjoying the shadow, and that Chase was experiencing the true form, in all its glory.  I believe Chase is at the ultimate wedding banquet, celebrating and worshiping the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ, and for that I am grateful.  

And what excites my heart even more is that one day my time of experiencing only the shadow will end.  I'll get to experience this awesome form, I'll get to celebrate and worship the Lamb.  

And I'll do it with Chase.