Though You Slay Me

Today is another milestone.  Where I would normally mark it as 5 months since we've been without Chase here, today I'm deciding to mark it as 5 months since Chase has been in Heaven. Rather than always thinking of the things I've missed in 5 months, which are heavy and relevant, today I'd like to think about all he's gotten to experience in those 5 months - pain and suffering not being one of them.

As I read and learn more about the future, forever hope of Heaven and the New Earth that awaits God's children, last week this scripture really started to make sense in my heart -

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18

Reading that scripture before March didn't really have much affect on me.  Reading it in April kind of offended me, it came with a sting.  Reading it now brings calm to my heart.  I believe it.  As painful as my pain is, as horrific the suffering, when compared to an eternity of joy, sinlessness and never, ever, suffering again, the pain is put into context.  And it makes me thankful.  Because pain is not what my forever-state will be.

With that in mind, here is a video of two of my favorite artists, who actually served through music at Chase's Memorial Celebration, Shane & Shane, singing Though You Slay Me.

Through God's grace, I believe the lyrics are true.  And they bring comfort to my soul.  The lyrics were written with Lauren Chandler, who first performed the song on her EP.  They have been an overwhelming comfort to me since our season of suffering began.

I come, God I come,
I return to the Lord
The one who’s broken, the one who’s torn me apart
You struck down to bind me up
You say you do it all in love
That I might know you in your suffering

Though you slay me
Yet I will praise you
Though you take from me
I will bless your name
Though you ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need 

My heart and flesh may fail
The earth below give way
But with my eyes, with my eyes, I’ll see the Lord
Lifted high on that day
Behold the Lamb that was slain
And I’ll know every tear was worth it all

Though tonight I’m crying out, “Let this cup pass from me.”
You’re still more than I need, you’re enough
Whether healing in my frame, or if not, it’s just the same
As long as I bring glory to your name