Words from Mom

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.  And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.

Matthew 7:24-27

At the end of Chase's Memorial Celebration Service on March 28, our pastor, Beau Hughes, shared some words on my behalf.  I'd like to share an expanded version of them here.

While we were organizing the order of service for the Celebration, I had a deep desire to share some things that the Lord had made very clear to me in those first days of our nightmare.  I wanted to include some "Words from Mom" in his service, because I thought people may want to hear from me.  I thought a question many people would have was "What is Danielle thinking?" or "If Danielle could give some advice after this experience, what would she say?"  But knowing I wouldn't have the energy to share them myself, I asked Beau to relay them during the service.

Maybe some would expect me to say something like "hug your babies more" or "the time you get with your children is so sweet and so short, cherish it all you can."  Maybe others would expect me to encourage them to pray with their children more, and train them up in such a way that you end up with no regrets.  

I hugged and kissed Chase all the time.  I quit my job at Accenture as an act of obedience, believing the Lord was asking me to give my time, especially in those early formative years, to my children.  I prayed over Chase every night.  I sang to him every verse of the popular hymn In Christ Alone before he went to sleep, so that he would constantly be bombarded with the truth of the gospel.  I nursed him, played with him, read to him, did learning time with him - and I don't have any regrets.

"Yes" and "Amen" to all these things. I think they are highly valuable and important.  But my "Words from Mom" would not center around any of these things.  In fact, they wouldn't center around Chase at all.

They would center around the triune God of the Bible - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  

In short, my "Words from Mom" were an encouragement for you to believe that God is all that He says He is.  They were an encouragement to do work with the Lord now, and beg Him to help you believe His truth - about Himself and you.

Knowing that I played with Chase as often as I could didn't give me a peace that surpasses all understanding after he passed - that is a grace gift from the Lord.

Teaching Chase some words in sign language didn't protect my heart from playing "what if?" games after he passed - that is a grace gift from the Lord.

Nursing Chase as long as I could didn't give me hope that I'll see him again - that is a grace gift from the Lord. 

For the past three years I have been challenged to constantly ask myself, as I read scripture, books, or listen to sermons, "Do I believe this?"  And not "Do I just cognitively agree with XYZ statement?" but "Do I live in such a way that shows I believe XYZ to be true?"  

Here are some examples of questions He's helped me wrestle through:

• "Do I really believe that God can not lie?" (Titus 1:1)
• "Do I really believe that God is working all things for the good of those who love Him?" (Romans 8:28)
• "Do I really believe that God is good?" (Psalm 119:68)
• "Do I really believe that children are ultimately the Lord's, and that they are gifts He has entrusted me with for a season (however long or short)?" (Psalm 127:3)

It has been a work.  It has been a large effort on my part, enabled by His grace, to choose to believe Him. And as a result, the Lord padded my heart and mind with His truth.  He's been proving Himself as the Solid Rock, and He's been building my foundation on Him.  He's been preparing me to better handle the storms - because they will come.

And of course there are days when I struggle with this.  Days when my own thoughts, or the Enemy's lies, lead me down a path away from the Father's truth.  But by the Spirit, or close friends reminding me of His truth, He is faithful to lead me back down the right path.

So I beg you now to believe that God is who He says He is.  I plead with you to believe that He can not lie, and that His word is truth.

Twenty weeks into grief, my "Words from Mom" have not changed - build your house on the Rock.